i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
