Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
