Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
