we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
