Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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