Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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