Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
