So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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