we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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