I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How drunk are you?
Completed.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
