i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
