I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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