We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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