I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
