great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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