I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The power of my boobs compel you
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
