yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
