It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
