Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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