okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it was like eating out sand paper
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
