:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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