end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
