He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
