So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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