Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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