"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
