I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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