I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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