some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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