Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
