My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
