Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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