He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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