I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
