Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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