time to smoke my breakfast
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
