pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
