Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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