Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
