Where is the hickey?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
