69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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