that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
