2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
