Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
