i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
