I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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