I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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