I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
another moral hangover. fuck.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
