I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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