Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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