the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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