$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
