i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
