Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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