no, he came in my armpit
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
