It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
