Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
