I need help removing her.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
