I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
